Winter is Dead

sunflower

Early in the morning on a day in March, I stood at my sliding glass door watching my husband and son head to the garage and above them I saw a sunrise to marvel at. As I reveled in the beauty of this early morning the opening line in my prayer book began to run through my thoughts.

O Lord, let my soul rise up to meet you

as the day rises to meet the sun.

I turned coffee cup in hand and made my way to the living room and “my spot” for devotions. From my seat, I glanced out the window and all I saw was darkness. Odd, I had just witnessed the most breathtaking sunrise. You see from the sliding glass door I was looking east, but from my favorite spot on the couch I was looking west.

It occurred to me in that moment that the sun was still rising I was just looking the wrong way! How often am I looking at the end of the night when the sun is already rising behind me?

This revelation is so symbolic of the last few months of my life. Somewhere near the holidays and the end of last year, I came crashing to a halt. I found that I had been busy, purposeful, accomplishing mighty and many things but all of this was a sort of self-medication to sooth hidden hurt, grief, resentment, and bitterness I had not realized was building inside.

With a sudden halt to activity, I was able to rest and face the darkness. But, as spring approached and my forced sabbatical began to ease up I still felt overwhelmed by these emotions, this winter in my soul. My prayers were full of thanksgiving for the  healing and forgiveness and yet I still seemed stuck there staring at the night while the sun was beginning to rise. Then I experienced the sunrise I spoke of earlier and suddenly I saw the light!

My ability to finish fully recovering seemed hinged on this window facing east.

She turned to the sunlight and shook her yellow head, and whispered to her neighbor: “Winter is dead.” -A.A. Milne

It is finished seemed to echo softly all around me. I was challenged to choose which direction I want to look. Do I want to see the sun rise and the spring come or do I want to stubbornly look hard into the darkness and at what has died and gone?

I want to choose life, to seek my Lord’s face, to believe that all things are possible, that restoration is always God’s will!

I lift my eyes to you, O God, enthroned in heaven. We keep looking to the Lord our God for his mercy, just as servants keep their eyes on their master, as a slave girl watches her mistress for the slightest signal. ~Psalm 123:1-2 NLT

Lord, let my eyes be ever on your face, awaiting even the slightest signal.

“Turn your face stubbornly to the light, and keep it there.”

~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Many flowers such as sunflowers, poppies, marigolds, and daisies are heliotropic. This means that the face of these flowers will turn slowly throughout the day so that it constantly faces the sun.

LORD, LET IT BE SO!

I heard the following song lyrics performed the day after I saw that amazing sunrise.

Brighten My Soul with Sunshine by Joyce Eilers 

…Brighten up my soul

You’ve got to brighten up my soul

If I’m to carry the heavy load.

You’ve got to brighten my soul with sunshine

 

…I’m in trouble and I need you Lord

The Devils calling and he’s pulling hard

And I don’t know If I can make it through,

Unless you brighten my soul with sunshine

 

…Oh don’t you hear me calling Lord, Lord

I’m hanging hard on to the good word

And I don’t know If I can make it through,

Unless you brighten my soul with sunshine

The Son’s light is always available to warm and brighten my soul. It is up to me to turn my face toward Him.

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will  have the light of life.” ~ John 8:12 ESV

 

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2 Responses to Winter is Dead

  1. Beautifully written encouragement, Melisa! Your pliable heart blesses me more than I can say, thank you for sharing it the spirit words you’ve strung together!

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