In 2013 I posted for the first time here on Pollinating Grace with an explanation of why I choose that title based on the transliteration of my given names. You can refresh that thought here “What’s in a Name?” Recently, I found myself challenged by my own name and purpose, realizing that I can be so distracted by the world around me that I can forget to be myself.
How does a bee forget to pollinate?
On the final Friday of February I sent an email to a dear friend and mentor discussing her recently published book and how it was blessing me. Ever insightful, her reply spoke to the heart of my inner struggles and then she signed off “Blessings…and Grace”. That salutation and the pause in the middle caught my attention. Her blessing and giving me grace, telling me to extend grace to myself was audible. I felt it come over me as if she was in the room and had given that benediction over me in person. I heard the Holy Spirit caution me to give myself grace.
What neither of us knew was how much grace I was going to need to survive the first week of March! It came in like a lion, not the weather, but the storm. Over and over others have repeated this anthem of grace to me, letting me off the hook. I have had to give some things up, apologize and recant commitments, and always I hear grace, like a blessing wash over me and my expectations for myself.
I am coming to realize that I can give grace far easier than I can receive it. And almost never do I offer it to myself without someone else’s prompting me to do so. But, how can I truly have grace to offer if I have not received it first? How does a bee leave pollen behind that it has not picked up from the flower before?
With my friend’s email fresh in my mind as I began to encounter the most un-friendliest March on record, I started giving myself a little slack. Making space for grief, asking for help and accepting unmerited favor from those around me who offered to give it. I need GRACE when I hurt and grieve, when I am late, when I must apologize, when I need help to do a new thing and the list goes on. Sometimes others can be stingy and not offer grace but usually I don’t ask. I endure, I struggle, I persevere—admirable to a point. The thing is living without grace is not something God has asked of me and you. What does a bee even do if it doesn’t pollinate?
Living without pollen makes no sense in the bee world and neither does living without grace in mine. I set a dangerous precedence not just for myself but for all that are within my circle of influence when I live outside of the grace offered to me. Why would it be wise or prudent for me to live without the very thing God sacrificed His Son for me to have?
Let us, then, feel very sure that we can come before God’s throne where there is grace. There we can receive mercy and grace to help us when we need it.
~ Hebrews 4:16
I need grace, to be full of grace, not just to live up to my namesake but to truly be about my purpose. I hope you know you need it too and where to boldly go to receive it!
The complete article first published in the Blossom Ministries Newsletter.